How to become a.) a kook, or b.) an innovative genius!

July 27, 2013 § 4 Comments

One of the Flying WallendasStart small:

a.The cat lady down the street began with one stray and a can of tuna.

b. “One small step for a man. One giant leap for mankind.”

Express an unlikely or unpopular position:

a. “Shhh…The government has bugged that ketchup bottle.”

b. Earth circles the sun. (This one could get you excommunicated when the idea was fresh.)

Burn your bridges:

a.” The Mayan calendar was clear, so I gave away my stuff and I’m sitting on this mountaintop, waiting.”

b.” The hell with Paris! I’m going to Tahiti to paint scantily clad women.”

Take a risk:

a. “If I jump off this ledge and flap my arms hard I’ll fly!”

b. “Wilbur, you won the coin toss. Go ahead, fly ‘er.”

Collect followers:

a. “Ooooh, I have 797,002 followers on Twitter!”

b. “Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.”

Do it with flair:

a.) “I have a fashion idea! I’ll wear pants so big you’ll be able to see my drawers and quite possibly my butt crack—cool!”

b.) “I was thinking red white and blue, with 13 stars.”

Stake everything on your convictions:

a.) “Sure, I’ll drink the Kool-Aid.”

b.) When in the course of human events it becomes necessary…

Persist:

a. “I’ll just roll this danged rock up the hill one more time…”

b. “Hey, let’s build Rome! We’ve got more than one day.”

Test the limits of the human body:

a. Congratulations to Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, winner of the 2013 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest with 69 dogs and buns down the hatch in just ten minutes. Way to go Jaws!

b. Kurt Browning lands the first official quadruple toe loop at the 1988 World Championships.

Sacrifice:

a. “The grocery money? You want the grocery money again? You know you’ll only spend it on….Okay, okay, but this is the last time.”

b. “I may not get there with you, but I want you to know that we, as a people, will get to the promised land.”

Note: You do not get to choose which category your effort will be assigned to, but a painful belly flop beats standing at the end of the diving board shivering. Jump as wisely as you can, but jump.

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